The Look in Her Eyes
by kNOrdinarylauren25
Summary: Starting base is around last season! A story about 5 times Alex looked at Jo! I hope you all enjoy.


_**AuthorsNote: This is a series of one-shots based on 5 times Alex looked at Jo…I based it around the show but it will take a turn. I'm still writing about last season because I haven't really plotted out my season 10 stories. I wish Alex and Jo would get more air-time but until then here you all go… **____** I love Alex and Jo, they need more stories so I hope you all enjoy! Reviews, as always, are very much appreciated and make my day. Thank you all for the inspiration to be heard! **_

Jo sat at the infamous Joe's Bar across from the Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital. She had a hell of a day and she was trying to feel her void with her now third shot of tequila.

Jo sat oblivious to her surroundings and wanted nothing more to sit there alone and wallow in her misery. No matter how hard she tried, she knew being happy just wasn't in the cards for her.

She didn't get what her problem was, even though she had come from nothing, she had become a successful Doctor, she saved peoples' lives for sakes', she wasn't nothing now…

But she couldn't help but still feel that way. It didn't matter who she had become on the outside because it didn't cover her own façade she had going on the inside.

She was lonely. She had been lonely for a long time now. And after the day that she had, she couldn't understand why she couldn't accept the fact, be happy with herself no matter what, and realize that she didn't need people to make her happy.

But why was her mind at war with her heart. She knew she needed people. She wanted people. But every person she had ever come across had walked in, walked out, and stole pieces of her with them as they left.

Every person she had ever met had forgot about her so why couldn't she just forget about them?!

Why did she have to care so damn much?!

Up until now, she had never really been around the same people this long. She was used to having an altercation with someone and them walking away…when they weren't walking away for any reason at all.

But now Jo was left to face her problems and even though, she had spent her life changing, she was used to it and so that's what she had come to expect.

So sitting in Joe's Bar, thinking about her day's events, the fact that she had nowhere to go, the fact that she had no one to talk to, the fact that this was her home and she had to return to work the next day, she sat there in wander. She didn't know what the hell to think or what the hell she was going to do.

Jo had been staying back and forth from Alex, Jason, and Stephanie's places for the past few weeks and when she felt like she was beginning to over wear her welcome, she would even crash in one of the on-call rooms.

Jo was so use to having no sleep anyway so she didn't require much. She felt she didn't require much of anything, in a good and a bad way! All she wanted was someone to love her but she knew what love was and if someone was going to love her, she wanted them to love all of her, for who she was, no matter what.

Was she so bad of a person that not one person on this earth was ever going to stick around? She couldn't remember a single person that she had ever talked to on more than one birthday, other than Mrs. Schmidt. And Jo had spent so many of the past few years trying to find her place in this world that they had lost contact, up until Jo had call her and announced the news that she had gotten accepted into the Grey-Sloan Surgery Program!

Mrs. Schmidt had loved Jo but she had such a big family of her own, although they were nothing like her. Jo had doubted Mrs. Schmidt had told her son who the watch was actually for.

The one person Jo did have in this world had to keep their relationship a secret in the beginning in order to keep allegations of favoritism to a minimum and when Jo finished school, Mrs. Schmidt's sons didn't condone her having much to do with Jo because they thought that she was out for their mom's money.

Jo had no idea about Mrs. Schmidt's money until she had confided into her about it one day. Mrs. Schmidt hung her head low as she admitted to Jo that after leaving an abusive relationship herself, her sons didn't understand, and grew up resenting her and her students, although she did the best she could.

Mrs. Schmidt was ashamed that her boys' had turned out that way but they had a part of their dad in them and they would easily turn violent and most of all, they had the greed in them, that would cause them to be even more violent.

And although Mrs. Schmidt loved her job and her students, she loved her boys more! She, like most people, blamed herself and constantly thought about what she should have, could have, done differently. And when one of her boys became handicapped after an accident, she retired early to stay at home and take care of him. When this happened, talk between Jo and her, became almost inexistent.

When Jo had called her about the job, they kept it short and sweet mostly! Jo gave her a P.O. Box for her and told her if she could, to write! It was a few weeks later when Jo received the watch in the mail.

Most everything Jo did have had a seemingly crazy story behind it but that's what made it hers and that's what made her, her!

Jo and Medusa had lost their patient today though and Jo couldn't get the mid-20s girl off of her mind, she had no one, just like Jo. And the people she did have would never again have a chance. She would never have another chance.

Jo wanted someone to miss her. She had sort-of friends here at Grey-Sloan but she had only let one person in on about who she really was. That was Alex Karev. Jo liked him and she didn't know why. Maybe she felt he was misunderstood, as was she. But somehow over the course of the last few months, they became friends. Then there was her few intern buddies and her so-called new beau, Chest Peckwell, but they didn't know her. And she couldn't swallow the fact that if they did, they wouldn't want to.

So Jo sat alone at Joe's Bar. She knew she could maybe talk to any of these people but she just didn't know how. She liked them…all. But she just didn't know how to open herself up, be honest, be… vulnerable, only to end up with more people to think about the next time.

So she sat there and she drank…and she thought. She just wanted to figure herself out, love herself, and be happy. That was the most extraordinary thing in life, right? Then why was it just so damn hard? 

Jo had arrived at Grey-Sloan with intentions of becoming the best surgeon in her class. She wasn't there to make friends, she wasn't there to play nice, she wasn't there to get close to anyone, she wasn't there to care. She was there to save lives…people she didn't know, people she wanted to have a chance, people she wanted to have what she thought she didn't deserve.

With that much thought into it, it seemed as if she did care. But she didn't! She didn't know these people and most importantly they didn't know her. She would do everything she could, when she could, and hope for the best.

That's what she had spent her whole life doing! Expecting the worst and hoping for the best.

But it didn't take long for the walls of Grey-Sloan to break through that façade. She wanted people, she needed people, she still cared about people, she still cared about her people.

Her people held the scalpel to her deepest wounds. Those were the people that made her who she is, parts she likes, and of course the not-so-much, and the not-at-all, parts she doesn't.

But where was everyone now? Jo had given her heart and soul to countless people to be sitting in her current spot, alone, in Joe's Bar!

Alex sat there watching Jo, he had been for the last 45 minutes. He could tell she was deep in thought so he knew that now wasn't the best time to approach her. Nor did he know what to say to her.

He knew that she and Medusa, as the intern's liked to call her, had lost their patient today and he obviously knew that exact feeling all too well.

Alex and Jo had become quite close over the past few months up until she had started dating, douche-bag Chest Peckwell! Alex had no idea why Peckwell wasn't there with his arm around Jo, giving her someone to confide into, just letting her know he cared.

Alex wanted so bad to do exactly that. They were friends for sakes' and for some reason tonight seemed so much different. He always teased Jo and picked on her and called her silly nicknames. But now seeing her sitting there, clearing drinking away her sorrow, it ate at his heart.

Jo had stayed at his place countless times and he considered them good friends, even great friends. So he couldn't comprehend why he couldn't just walk up to her right now and start a conversation with her.

He knew he was scared. One, he knew Jo was a firecracker and wasn't sure she wanted any company, especially his teasing antic ones at the moment, and two because he really did feel plain scared.

He hadn't thought about what he wanted, should, shouldn't, might, or might not say to her, he just simply wanted to be in her prescensce talking with her.

Alex wanted her to know, she always had a friend, no matter what. It didn't matter that he was her boss, or that she thought of him as her big brother, or that she had a boyfriend right now, or that …whatever.

He liked her (as a friend) and he wanted her to know that.

Meredith along with Christina, who could only be counted half the time, but they were his friends. Meredith was his best friend. He knew that he could tell her anything…almost anything.

But Jo, Jo was different. Alex sat there finding himself missing Jo and being around her, them simply laughing, talking, and being themselves.

Meredith had a family now and although Alex knew he could include himself in that, he found himself wanting his own. He had never given the thought to him and Izzie having kids because he knew that they most likely wouldn't be able to. But he found himself longing to be wanted, missed, and most importantly needed.

Alex shook his thoughts when he realized what had quickly sprung up in his mind. He was just sitting there staring at Jo Wilson and now he was thinking about babies?

Who am I? He asked himself aloud, anyone looking would contest to the fact he was talking to himself. If only he could make these words come out to Jo…or at his standpoint now…even near her would work.

Alex stood up and made his way towards where Jo sat...he approached her cautiously then came to stand next to her.

Jo sat up straight and tried to perk up a little now aware she wasn't the only Grey-Sloan employee at Joe's. She slightly looked over and tried keeping her eyes focused, just not on him.

"I'm fine" she lied, turning back to facing the shot of tequila in front of her.

"I know" he told the truth, taking the seat next to her. Although he knew she wasn't fine, he was going to let her pretend as long as she needed. He knew Jo was a rock star but he knew how hard losing any patient was, let alone a case she had been a part of for weeks.

Alex pulled out a bill from his wallet and flashed it at Joe. Without words, the bartender Joe knew what Alex was meaning. Joe had come to know the couple and how their relationship worked, honestly better than what the own couple knew about their relationship and how it worked.

That was Joe's cue to keep them coming.

Alex knew there was nothing he could say to make Jo feel better so he was going to let her do what he knew she thought was making her feel better.

And that he did…

Alex watched Jo over the course of the next 20 minutes throw back 4 more shots. Generally Alex wouldn't condone someone drowning their misery in alcohol but Alex knew their job and he knew Jo needed this. Alex knew he wasn't going anywhere and he knew he was going to make sure she got to a bed safe.

So Alex sat there with Jo in silence. They both went back and forth from staring straight ahead, lost in thought, to silently sighing, after throwing back yet another shot.

Alex watched Jo with ease and he knew without a doubt when she had in fact had enough. Jo who wasn't far from being able to comprehend her own thoughts had no idea what to say, do, or really even care at this point.

No one was bothering her and that's exactly what she wanted. But now it was almost closing time and she hadn't a clue as to where she was going to go, how she was going to get there, or if she could even make it there. But before the thought continued, she was brought out of it…

Alex looked at Jo and the look in her eyes… was sad.

He then grabbed her by the hand and led her out the door…


End file.
